What if Mama isn't ready?

M has two choices for preschool next year. She can go 4 times a week for two and a half hours, or she can go 5 days a week from 9 am until 2 pm. I wish there were some sort of middle ground. One option seems like it's not quite enough and the other seems to be only minutes shorter than a kindergarten day.

I don't know what to do here--she seems to be excited about the idea of going to school every day and REALLY excited about having lunch with her friends. But I confess that I feel unready for her to be in school all day. She will be in school all day, five days a week for years. Why start earlier than necessary? Why miss out on those impromptu trips to the zoo? I tell myself all of this and stand firm on my decision on the four-day-a-week program.

Then that little competitive voice starts whispering to me about kindergarten readiness, about all the other mothers who sent their four year olds to a longer program. I don't like that voice, but it's there all the same. It's the same one that makes me want to call the other mothers in M's class and see who is writing his or her name, who can identify the sounds that letters make. I confess that I have seriously considered finding a more academic school for her.

I just don't know what to do in this case. I have two weeks to decide and it will be difficult to change after that. It just feels so final.